An Afternoon With Kerry & Spencer

Kerry and Spencer are one of those couples that are so comfortable being around each other they put you at ease too. After spending just a few minutes with them, you’ll feel like you’ve known them forever. And the way they light up while talking about their relationship will remind you  that sometimes love is easy.

Keep scrolling to learn how they’ve managed to travel the world together despite Kerry’s demanding medical school schedule, as well as what they’re most looking forward to about their future together. They share some really great relationship advice too!

How did you two meet?!

Kerry: Spencer and I met during our first weekend at Brown as freshmen, via a mutual friend. We were friends in college but we were never super close while at Brown. Fast forward to 2013: Spencer and I bumped into each other, serendipity-style, in the neighborhood of Cambridge, MA, where we were both living. It took us a year of back-and-forth to finally get a beer together, and we’ve been together ever since!

Spencer: I didn’t realize it was a date, but Kerry knew it was and I figured it out by the second beer. It was immediately so comfortable to be around each other, the conversation flowed so seamlessly, we had such a great time, and the rest is history!

You’ve spent most of your relationship living in different cities. What has that been like?

Kerry: I got into medical school about two weeks after Spencer and I started dating, so it’s been a part of our relationship from the beginning. Originally we lived two blocks apart, so I was a little nervous when I moved to Worcester six months into our relationship, but it ended up being really good for us. It’s only an hour drive, so we were able to see each other often.

Spencer:I actually think that living a 45-60 minute drive away from each other has strengthened our relationship immensely. It’s meant that we’ve both had to commit to each other and to putting in the effort to make our relationship work. There have been points where one of us spent more time driving to the other and less time at our own homes, but we knew that, like all things in a relationship, there’s an ebb and a flow, a give and a take, and we were both always willing to put in that effort and to be there to support each other when needed.

The fact that we don’t always see each other every day has meant that the time we spend together is so much more valuable! I still get so excited to see Kerry every single time, no matter whether it’s been two hours or two days. This is true no matter the context, whether we’re going out to dinner somewhere or just sitting on a couch doing work next to each other. I think in part because we didn’t move in together right away, every minute we spend together is an absolute treat!

What’s one way knowing each other has changed you?

Spencer:I’ve become much more deliberate about the future and planning for it! It’s not to say I wasn’t excited or looking forward to the future previously, because I certainly was, but I always used to mostly just focus on the present, and basically just plod through work until my next vacation. But once we started dating, there were just SO many things that I wanted to do with Kerry!

Certainly first it included new places and experiences both in Boston and elsewhere, but over time it grew to include moving in together, getting engaged, getting married, having kids, etc. etc., and just generally living life together. I always sort of flew by the seat of my pants, but since we’ve been together, I/we’ve been able to continue to be spontaneous and enjoy the present, while also planning and getting excited for the future together, and it’s the greatest!

Kerry: Spencer has taught me how to slow down and enjoy life more. I’ve always been very ambitious and worked very hard for what I want. I still do that, but he has shown me that it is possible to work hard AND take a wonderful vacation once in a while.

You two have taken a lot of trips together! What role does travel play in your relationship? 

Kerry: We both studied abroad in college and have loved traveling ever since. I always thought of international travel as something that was out of reach, but Spencer is really good at finding flight deals and planning trips! We love exploring new places together and always try to include some outdoor time wherever we go – a few hikes or a national park.

Spencer: We both love to travel immensely and have been fortunate to explore a number of places domestically and internationally already in our relationship. I’d say the biggest role it plays is in the shared experiences we’ve had together, whether it’s being blown away in the moment by stumbling into the best meal of our lives in Reykjavik or the dozens hundreds of times we’ve reminisced about it since, whether it’s exploring and being surprised by a brand new country together, like Slovenia, or showing each other around our second homes in the cities where we studied abroad. So many wonderful memories and incredible experiences that play a huge part in our collective story

I was SO nervous on the first big trip we took together. We’d been dating for nearly a year, and we’d traveled to LA for a wedding, and to Pittsburgh to visit my folks, but otherwise this was the first major trip we’d been on together. We decided to ring in the New Year by spending Kerry’s winter break in the Dominican Republic, splitting time between Punta Cana and a treehouse in the jungle in the northeast of the country.

Thinking “I speak Spanish” and “how hard could it be to navigate in the DR?”, we decided to rent a car to drive from place to place. Turns out, even with speaking Spanish, it is quite difficult to navigate in the DR, especially when google maps isn’t working! What was supposed to be a 4 hour drive turned into a very harrowing 7ish hour drive that included going the wrong way down a major road in the middle of a city.

But we made it! And we didn’t fight or argue at all along the way (though I do seem to remember Kerry pointing out, correctly, that I was going the wrong way and had been for quite some time). And since then we’ve known we could handle anything!

What’s one of your partner’s quirks?

Spencer: We never look like we’re going to the same party! Kerry always looks so superb, and I always, um, don’t.

Kerry: Spencer eats faster than anyone I’ve ever met. If we’re out to dinner and I want to try whatever he ordered, I have to make sure to steal a bite as soon as it gets to the table, otherwise it’s gone!

What relationship advice do you have for other couples? 

Spencer: Communication is key! Don’t be afraid to talk about your feelings! Also: any work you put in to your relationship will be repaid tenfold in how much stronger your relationship becomes. Also also: download offline maps. They just might save your life/relationship when traveling abroad.

Kerry: One thing Spencer and I agreed on early in our relationship was that no one is allowed to be passive aggressive. If one of us does something that bothers the other one, we tell them. It’s really helpful because it means if, for example, he tells me he doesn’t mind when I can’t drive out to Somerville because I have too much work to do, I know he means it. I know it sounds like a cliche, but communication is really the most important thing. We’re constantly talking about our feelings!

Also, put in the energy required to support the other person. At the end of the day, a relationship is a partnership, and the best partnerships are ones where you’re lifting each other up and allowing each other to be the best versions of yourselves.

Kerry & Spencer 

Favorite Date Spot

  • Kerry: Little Donkey in Central Square, Cambridge
  • Spencer: Thelonious!

Favorite Way to Spend A Sunday Together

  • Kerry: Donuts and coffee from Union Square Donuts (blackberry basil lime for me, brown butter hazelnut crunch for him), eaten in bed or on the porch depending on the weather, with the New York Times crossword; a trip to the climbing gym; cooking dinner together; watching whatever HBO show we’re currently obsessed with.
  • Spencer: Outside! Preferably climbing somewhere, though donuts and coffee in bed is also a definite contender.

The Last Gift You Gave Each Other

  • Kerry: Instead of presents for Valentine’s Day this year we went to a really fancy dinner while we were in Barcelona this spring.
  • Spencer: Gin and tonic goblets and a bottle of local gin for our -1 anniversary!

The Last Thing You Argued About

  • Kerry: Whether our kids will be Patriots fans or Steelers fans! (We don’t really argue. I know, it’s weird.)
  • Spencer: Patriots vs. steelers (we don’t really argue!)

Favorite Place You’ve Visited Together

  • Kerry: Oh man, this one is impossible. I’d have to say Slovenia.
  • Spencer: Slovenia!!

Thank you so much Kerry and Spencer!

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